brides’ guide to: the reality of wedding planning
Have you ever wondered what it’s truly like to plan your wedding?
Well, you’re not alone. This is most likely the largest and most expensive event you have ever planned.
Once the engagement bliss is over, couples realize that executing their wedding is much more complicated than they initially thought. Just because you have an auntie that plans your family get-togethers and the annual church picnic doesn’t mean that she has any business planning your wedding.
We’ve had our fair share of working with beautiful wedding couples, and they all pretty much experience the inevitable reality of wedding planning; we can’t go without sharing this with you because you should know this now. The sooner you know, the better off you’ll be. If you spent months before your engagement trolling wedding boards and downloading wedding planning checklists to get yourself prepared, you haven’t even scratched the service. Here is where you get to know the reality of wedding planning. We’re here to tell you the five central truths; brace yourself!
Time Consuming
Lots of Decision Making
Family Disagreements
Wedding Day Chaos
Wedding Party Drama
These are 5 common things that couples don’t realize when planning their wedding. There is a lot more to factor in the process, but we can say for sure these 5 points is where the rubber meets the road. Let’s dive into these truths, shall we?
1. Time-Consuming
Wedding planning is time and energy-consuming. Studies show that couples not working with a wedding planner can spend upwards of 528 hours planning their wedding, along with a few disagreements and some tears. This doesn’t include costly mistakes when not selecting the perfect vendor team. Planning a wedding is not a one-woman show, fortunately. You want to ask your friends and family (with caution) to help lighten your wedding workload. We add caution because they are not experts! They can help you with tasks such as reaching out to bridal shops to schedule appointments and researching small details. The most time-consuming aspects of planning are: deciding on the guest list (whew!), arranging the catering, choosing overnight accommodations, arranging transportation, picking the venue, and picking the flowers, to name a few.
A successful event is about having a solid “A” team by your side; we’re not talking family and bridal party members; if your helpers don’t earn a living doing wedding and event planning, then it’s not the “A” team. A wedding planner can reduce these hours significantly with its robust network already in place and their knowledge. They also ensure you’re working with a suitable vendor as well as help troubleshoot (if any) costly mistakes.
2. Decision Making
Decision fatigue is real, and wedding planning is all about decision-making; just about every moment of it something will be decided– even if it’s not to decide! You'll also second-guess at least one major decision. With this industry's ever-growing list of wedding decisions, it’s enough to make our tails spin. And if you’re struggling through real-life while planning, you will want to put more energy into overcoming those things than in overcoming the strain of indecision of planning a wedding. Yet there is so much at stake; the last thing you want is for your wedding plans to go by the wayside due to real-life situations.
Remember that while your wedding is all about you and your future spouse, at some point, you will feel pressured to take into account the feelings of your family and future in-laws and make yet another decision. You can ignore these things; the only issue is that it's hard to do if they are helping pay for the event.
We recommend that you pick one or two of your besties to go to for feedback and your wedding planner. This will help you to be able to move forward with making a decision and, by all means, keep this network to a minimum. Do you ever post to the discussion boards and have indecisive questions to get anywhere from 15-50 comments? Now you have 50 different opinions. Move on from trolling online wedding groups and forums. The more people you seek for advice specific to your day, the more indecisive you will be.
3. Family Disagreements
While weddings are known for traditionally bringing families together, let’s face it, every family has their issues. And these issues are displayed on a silver platter when a wedding is involved. Combing two families is a difficult task. Most likely, the issues will take place between you as a couple, your respective parents, and your siblings.
The most important thing is for you and your partner to work together as a team and be prepared to address different priorities, needs, and beliefs. If it doesn’t work out, remember it’s your day, and you, as the couple, make the ultimate decision. But try not to let disagreements go on for long if these are the same people attending the wedding. By all means, resolve any outstanding conflicts before the big day. With months of planning going into the process, your wedding day goes by at lightning speed.
4. Wedding Day Chaos
We have seen many things happen when it comes to weddings. Even the most laid-out plans can completely go left. Your plan b needs a plan b; on top of that, you need to know how each decision will affect plans for the remainder of the day all while staying level-headed. But you, as the bride or groom, will know only a tiny percentage of it, and that’s the beauty of hiring a team. You’ll also realize that everyone close to you will want to assist you in any way possible, including offering unsolicited advice and opinions significantly if they are contributing to your wedding financially.
The goal is to experience a beautiful day. Yes, we are biased and strongly believe it is golden on your wedding day, and will shut all the bullshit down immediately! Delegating inexperienced family members and friends to run the show on the day of is a recipe for disaster. These folks are not equipped to handle situations, as most times there were not part of all the planning details, so they will not know exactly your expectations.
5. Wedding Party Drama
There’s a lot of financial and time commitment involved with being in a wedding; they are asked to purchase and wear clothes they often don’t even like. From passive-aggressive behavior to know-it-all personalities and expensive tastes, there is so much that can cause a bit of wedding party drama.
All of a sudden, your closest friends will become weird. Wedding party members also tend to think that your wedding is about them. They will let you know when something is going “wrong” instead of allowing your wedding day professionals to take care of things.
Be clear of your expectations from the beginning, and point out the financial and time commitments they are about to undertake. Remember that while they love and support you, your wedding day isn’t as important to them as it is to you. They still have lives to live and things that are more important than your wedding (gasp!), and that’s okay; the only important thing is that they show up for you on your wedding day,
Bonus:
You most certainly plan your own wedding. Many blogs and wedding community groups pride themselves on sharing tips on planning your wedding and hiring a coordinator for the day of your wedding. This isn’t sound advice… It is wise to hire a planner at the start of your planning process so that you can have a realistic game plan from the beginning.
